"I Come As a Thief" by Nikki Campo
– no way to make up for regret
One teenage moment of thoughtless action lingers for a lifetime, as it should—or not.
Nikki Campo works as a writer and mother to three young children in Charlotte, North Carolina. She is a member of the Charlotte Writers’ Club and Charlotte Lit. Her essays and humor have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, Charlotte Parent Magazine, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and other publications. Her personal essay “Queen of Birthdays” took first prize in the Charlotte Writers’ Club 2019-2020 Nonfiction contest.
Author’s Talk
When I sat down to write this story, I wondered if I should divulge my adolescent secrets. Do we want to talk about our juvenile mistakes in such a, well, public way? What if my high school friend, my teenage co-conspirator and comrade, didn’t appreciate my spilling our thieving beans for all the world (or the Southeastern U.S. at least) to read?
But I came to this conclusion: by confessing our mistakes, we grant permission for readers to do the same. In sharing what came of those mistakes — what we learned — we invite reflection, we extend empathy, we demonstrate vulnerability. Maybe when we’re honest on the page, we open a doorway for greater connection with the world, and for a certain peace and growth related to our wrongdoings.
As a writer, one of the best sources of “fuel” to keep trekking amidst the inevitable roadblocks (e.g. rejection, making enough time to write, rejection) is hearing from readers. Sometimes I receive a note through my website’s contact form responding to something I’ve written. Other times a direct message comes through on Twitter. Once in a while, I get a good old fashioned phone call or text from a friend or acquaintance who could relate to something I wrote. In those moments, all the questions I had about whether it was worth sharing my most vulnerable stories fall away. My words become others’ words, my story, theirs. And that is the greatest reward of all.
I hope you enjoy hearing this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. — Nikki Campo