"Do I Dare? by Suzanne Cottrell
– I’ve got to get around it.
As I swerve left, I cringe and bite my lip. More gas, more gas.
Suzanne Cottrell, a member of the Taste Life Twice Writers and NC Writers’ Network, lives with her husband in Granville County, NC. An outdoor enthusiast and retired teacher, she enjoys reading, writing, knitting, hiking, and Pilates. Her prose has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies, including the Personal Story Publishing Project, Inwood Indiana Press, Quillkeepers Press, and Parks and Points. She’s the author of three poetry chapbooks: Gifts of the Seasons, Autumn and Winter; Gifts of the Seasons, Spring and Summer; and Scarred Resilience; and Nature Calls Outside My Window, A Collection of Poems and Stories. www.suzanneswords.com
Author’s Talk
As a beginning driver in “Do I Dare?” I hesitated to pass other vehicles. Yet, as a goal-driven individual, I wanted to prove to myself, my mom, and my siblings I could pass a vehicle safely and perhaps, have bragging rights, too.
For most of my life, I lived in small communities. So small, they lacked a single stop light. As teenagers, my friends and I disliked relying on our parents for transportation. The closest shopping mall and movie theater were 12 miles away in Ithaca, New York. Unlike the driver’s license requirements in North Carolina, I had to wait until I was 17 and passed a driver’s education class to apply for my driver’s license.
When driving on rural roads with short passing zones, blind curves, and narrow bridges, opportunities to pass a vehicle are few. I lived among rolling hills, mountains, and lakes. Often, passing is a split-second decision and hopefully, the right one. If I didn’t take the opportunity, I’d get stuck behind an enormous slow-moving piece of farm equipment or someone driving well below the posted speed limit, prolonging my trip and testing my patience. Also, “Do I Dare?” relates to my lack of confidence and security and my tendency to question my actions.
Despite my fifty-five years of driving, I still experience a range of emotions from anxiousness to relief each time I pass a vehicle. Some emotions manifest with trembling hands, wide eyes, or sweat while other emotions wreak havoc within my body- faster pulse, nausea, or headache. Depending on the situation, expletives resound throughout the car although I try to say them under my breath. So why pass? Because I’m usually in a rush and willing to take the risk, especially to ensure I’m on time.
Some passing endeavors are clear shots and easily accomplished. Some are harrowing experiences, especially when an approaching vehicle seems to appear from nowhere and speeds toward me faster than I anticipate, requiring a stomp on the gas pedal and resulting in an adrenaline rush. Regardless, a successful pass builds my confidence, notably when I had my learner’s permit. Obtaining my driver’s license was a badge of achievement, assurance, and independence..—Suzanne Cottrell
