"The Strawberry Incident" by Jill Amber Chafin
– breath is life
A small child chokes while eating; panicked parents struggle in response.
Jill Amber Chafin lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where she is a member of the Durham Writers’ Critique Group. She wrote her first short story when she was five years old and has written thousands of pages since then. She is currently juggling several works-in-progress, including a young adult novel, a memoir, and an almost-completed contemporary fiction novel. She works as a freelance writer and has her own blog about motherhood, health, writing, and more. This essay was inspired by Brenda Miller’s “Hermit Crab” essay workshop.
Author’s Talk
Jill Amber Chafin
The seed of this essay was planted during Brenda Miller’s “Hermit Crab” workshop. Miller encouraged us writers to think out of the box, to put a new shell around our stories. Some examples she gave included following a recipe, a guidebook, or even writing your story like a syllabus. The goal was to experiment with new formats, thus breaking out of the traditional essay structure.
I decided to use the Red Cross’s step-by-step instructions for how to respond to a choking child. I juxtaposed the concrete steps with my sheer panic to illustrate how even when you know what to do, a real emergency can wipe your brain clean. Yes, the fight, flight, or freeze impulse is real!
I struggled with writing this essay and then finding the courage to submit it. Part of me worried that others would judge me. What if my husband hadn’t been home? Why had I hesitated to call 911? Why didn’t I cut the strawberry slices smaller? As a mother, it’s easy to berate yourself with guilt and self-doubt—even on a normal day.
In the end, I decided to put my trepidations aside. This was a story that needed to be shared! I knew I wasn’t alone, that plenty of parents make mistakes, or fail to act fast enough, or forget some crucial step. Perhaps my story would inspire others to think ahead, to maybe print out the choking steps and pin them to their fridge—a daily reminder of what to do during those unthinkable what-if moments. Would a visual clue have helped me in that frightening moment? Maybe.
My daughter is too young to understand this story, at least right now. But I look forward to the day of sharing it with her, holding her tight, and thanking my lucky stars that everything turned out okay. And despite my disappointment in not responding with rapid speed, my husband reassures me that I would’ve done the right thing if he hadn’t been home. I really hope he’s right. In the meantime, I continue to chop those strawberries into microscopic pieces. Just to be safe. — Jill Amber Chafin